We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
