Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
