I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
