so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So squirting runs in the family.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
