He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
