Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
