Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
