someone owes me an orgasm
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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