I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
