Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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