Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
