watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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