We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
