I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
