i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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