I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
