Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
