I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
