It's Friday. Sex?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
