He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
