Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
