I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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