The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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