My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
