Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
