i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Quick, to the slutcave!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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