I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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