apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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