I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
