My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We are two peas in an std pod
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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