Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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