i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
