alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my being single is dangerous.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
