it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
