yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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