i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
