Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
