She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
