Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
