conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
