As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
