Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
