He told me they were just razor bumps!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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