She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
