I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
