fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
