3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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