Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
