I hate your face
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
