Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
