So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think I sprained my soul last night
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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