You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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