he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
