So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
