Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
